I just got off the call with a coaching client, who had the exact same problem as every other client I’ve had this week. In fact, it’s the only problem anyone ever has.
Got any problems in life right now? Here’s the only solution you’ll ever need…
A “problem” is only a problem if you’re feeling upset about it, or if you think that you will feel upset about it if you don’t ‘figure it out’. If you felt completely neutral about all of the circumstances in your life right now, you would:
a) not have any ‘problems’ – just situations to deal with (like the hundreds of other situations you’re dealing with that are not ‘problems’).
b) not be a robot – feeling ‘neutral’ or ‘peaceful’ isn’t the same as not feeling anything. Feelings are what make us human. They’re an expression of our thought. You’re always feeling something. In fact if you don’t feel anything, you’re dead.
Here’s a life-changing question…
What if you could look at the problems of your life without attaching your feelings to them?
You’re always feeling something. I’m not suggesting we all become robots. I’m suggesting that if you want inner-peace, freedom from stress and a permanent solution to your problem, you can simply free yourself from the illusion that your feelings are coming from your ‘problems’. They’re not.
Where are your feelings actually coming from?
Whatever you’re feeling right now, is coming from within. Your feelings come from your thoughts. The only thing causing you to feel angry/upset/stressed when you think about your ‘problem’ is that you’re having angry/upset/stressed thoughts.
Why are you having angry/upset/stressed thoughts?
Because you are.
It that the dumbest explanation ever? Maybe. Or it may be the wisest.
Feelings come and go, like the weather. Most of us act as though there are ‘good’ feelings and ‘bad’ feelings. The objective of life is to feel the ‘good’ ones and avoid the ‘bad’ ones.
Good luck with that.
There is no technique, or personal development system or religion in the world that can permanently eliminate ‘bad feelings’. That’s because bad feelings, like good feelings, come from thought. Thought is totally unpredictable. There’s no guessing what you’ll be thinking this time tomorrow.
Even if you train yourself with strict meditation today, at this exact moment tomorrow, you could have a thought that makes you feel: upset; angry; hurt; happy; elated; joyful; stressed; peaceful or any other emotion.
The good news is, the only source of your feelings is thought. Not your situation, not your ‘problem’, not your partner, not your job. Just thought. That’s the only thing that has the power to cause a feeling.
So, what does this have to do with ‘solving your problem’?
When you happen to be in a ‘good mood’, and you’re feeling happy, peaceful, calm, the problems of your life don’t really seem to exist as problems. They magically transform into situations that you ‘just know’ you’ll figure out.
When you happen to be a ‘bad mood’, and you’re feeling upset, angry, stressed, the problems of your life seem really big and hairy. They are mountains that must be overcome. You go and ask all your friends and advisors what you should do but none of their solutions seem to fit. You’re feeling so insecure about the pending apocalypse that will happen if you don’t figure the problem out, that you probably wouldn’t see the external solution if it slapped you in the face.
The external solution isn’t really what you need. The external situation isn’t really the problem. The real problem is this: right now you believe that if you don’t resolve your problem, the consequences will make you feel unhappy. The consequences of unresolved problems don’t cause unhappiness.
Happiness, unhappiness, stress and freedom come from within. Each of these is a spiritual state – a state of mind. They have nothing to do with the state of your affairs. Nothing.
Now, if you’re wondering…
“That’s nice, but how do I apply this?”
…Then I can assure you, you’re missing the point.
There is nothing to ‘apply’. There is nothing to ‘do’.
When you can look at the problems of your life without attaching your feelings to them, they instantly cease to be ‘problems’.
Trying to ‘do’ something about the fact that your problem just disappeared is just your ego’s way of trying to bring the problem back to life.
You simply cannot have a problem while you know that your feelings come from within. And if you have no problem, what is there to do?
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