The Solution To Life’s Most Stressful Problems

I just got off the call with a coaching client, who had the exact same problem as every other client I’ve had this week. In fact, it’s the only problem anyone ever has.

Got any problems in life right now? Here’s the only solution you’ll ever need…

A “problem” is only a problem if you’re feeling upset about it, or if you think that you will feel upset about it if you don’t ‘figure it out’. If you felt completely neutral about all of the circumstances in your life right now, you would:

a)    not have any ‘problems’ – just situations to deal with (like the hundreds of other situations you’re dealing with that are not ‘problems’).

b)   not be a robot – feeling ‘neutral’ or ‘peaceful’ isn’t the same as not feeling anything. Feelings are what make us human. They’re an expression of our thought. You’re always feeling something. In fact if you don’t feel anything, you’re dead.

Here’s a life-changing question…

What if you could look at the problems of your life without attaching your feelings to them?

You’re always feeling something. I’m not suggesting we all become robots. I’m suggesting that if you want inner-peace, freedom from stress and a permanent solution to your problem, you can simply free yourself from the illusion that your feelings are coming from your ‘problems’. They’re not.

Where are your feelings actually coming from?

Whatever you’re feeling right now, is coming from within. Your feelings come from your thoughts. The only thing causing you to feel angry/upset/stressed when you think about your ‘problem’ is that you’re having angry/upset/stressed thoughts.

Why are you having angry/upset/stressed thoughts?

Because you are.

It that the dumbest explanation ever? Maybe. Or it may be the wisest.

Feelings come and go, like the weather. Most of us act as though there are ‘good’ feelings and ‘bad’ feelings. The objective of life is to feel the ‘good’ ones and avoid the ‘bad’ ones.

Good luck with that.

There is no technique, or personal development system or religion in the world that can permanently eliminate ‘bad feelings’. That’s because bad feelings, like good feelings, come from thought. Thought is totally unpredictable. There’s no guessing what you’ll be thinking this time tomorrow.

Even if you train yourself with strict meditation today, at this exact moment tomorrow, you could have a thought that makes you feel: upset; angry; hurt; happy; elated; joyful; stressed; peaceful or any other emotion.

That’s life.

The good news is, the only source of your feelings is thought. Not your situation, not your ‘problem’, not your partner, not your job. Just thought. That’s the only thing that has the power to cause a feeling.

So, what does this have to do with ‘solving your problem’?

When you happen to be in a ‘good mood’, and you’re feeling happy, peaceful, calm, the problems of your life don’t really seem to exist as problems. They magically transform into situations that you ‘just know’ you’ll figure out.

When you happen to be a ‘bad mood’, and you’re feeling upset, angry, stressed, the problems of your life seem really big and hairy. They are mountains that must be overcome. You go and ask all your friends and advisors what you should do but none of their solutions seem to fit. You’re feeling so insecure about the pending apocalypse that will happen if you don’t figure the problem out, that you probably wouldn’t see the external solution if it slapped you in the face.

The external solution isn’t really what you need. The external situation isn’t really the problem. The real problem is this: right now you believe that if you don’t resolve your problem, the consequences will make you feel unhappy. The consequences of unresolved problems don’t cause unhappiness.

Happiness, unhappiness, stress and freedom come from within. Each of these is a spiritual state – a state of mind. They have nothing to do with the state of your affairs. Nothing.

Now, if you’re wondering…

“That’s nice, but how do I apply this?”

…Then I can assure you, you’re missing the point.

There is nothing to ‘apply’. There is nothing to ‘do’.

When you can look at the problems of your life without attaching your feelings to them, they instantly cease to be ‘problems’.

Trying to ‘do’ something about the fact that your problem just disappeared is just your ego’s way of trying to bring the problem back to life.

You simply cannot have a problem while you know that your feelings come from within. And if you have no problem, what is there to do?

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It Takes Less Energy To Win

I just got back from a class of Brazilian Jiu Jitsu. In fact, I’m all sweaty as I write this, but I just had an enormous insight I want to share with you.

Today was a tough class and I’m relatively out of shape. And, lo & behold, the Master Chen decided it would be a perfect time to have us fight for the entire class, instead of showing us new techniques.

I had spent the last 10 minutes of the class fighting with a couple of guys who were about 100kg (220 pounds). After a 1 minute rest, I was up again, this time against a blue belt who’s a weight category above me. The problem is, I was absolutely shattered. Although I agreed to fight the last 5 minute round, my body was shaking.

Then it occurred to me. Just before the final round, I realised something which is obvious in retrospect, but I had never seen it this way before…

It Takes Less Energy To Win A Fight Than It Does To Lose. 

My normal default at this point in the game – the last round when I’m absolutely shattered would be to ‘let the other guy win’ because I just want to survive! Just as that would be a terrible strategy in real life situation, it is also not a great strategy in the gym.

You see, in Jiu Jitsu, the guy who is losing is the one in an inferior position – ie. the other guy is sitting on top of you with all of their body weight. But, the guy who’s ‘winning’ has the luxury of putting all of their body weight on the other guy. In a ‘winning’ position, you can essentially rest. In a ‘losing’ position, you absolutely cannot rest – even if you’re not moving, you’re spending energy just trying to breath.

To get into a ‘winning’ position does indeed require a burst of energy, and it requires you to think strategically. That seems like a lot of effort. However, you’ll be thinking anyway, even if you’re underneath. You’ll be thinking ‘how do I get this annoying git off me?!’. And, you’ll spend bursts of energy trying to escape.

Plus, once you’re in the superior position, it’s smooth sailing. You just need to stay there, which is a lot easier and requires a lot less energy. The guy underneath will try to escape, but staying in a superior position is way easier than escaping from an inferior position.

How Does This Apply To Your Quran Studies & Your Life?

It takes less energy to save than it does to waste money on stuff you don’t need and then get stressed about it.

It takes less energy to workout each day than it does to suffer the consequences of poor health & fitness.

It takes less energy to find your perfect partner than it does to be single & constantly on the prowl.

It takes less energy to acquire clients than it does to worry about not having enough clients.

It takes less energy to pray than it does to miss a prayer and over-think what a terrible Muslim you are.

It takes less energy to do your daily Quran study than it does to miss it, and beat yourself up afterwards.

It takes less energy to win the game of life than it does to lose.

Ultimately, by putting in the extra effort to focus on winning the game of jiujitsu, I survived the last 5 minute round, and spent most of the time in a superior or equal position. Don’t get me wrong, the blue belt guy still beat me in the end – he was a better fighter – but I spent less energy fighting because I spent more time ‘winning’.

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

How To Apologise For Being Sexist

An apology to make someone ‘feel better’ is completely meaningless. If you think you made a mistake, you apologise if you want to. If you don’t think you did, you don’t. You have little/no control over what others feel. God didn’t give you that power.

Recently a so-called “Islamic Scholar” with a large following, especially in my home town, apologised for a long series of sexist jokes attacking women & feminism on #IWD, outright saying women can’t drive, implying that understanding women means hating them & other really dumb stuff, not worth repeating.

His ‘apology’ clearly was not an apology because he still appears to agree with his foolish statements. (Perhaps it’s because he sees himself as infallible, as though his own opinions are so in line with the Quran & Sunnah that if you disagree with him, you obviously disagree with Islam itself).

This is what a real apology would have looked like…

http://neederish.wordpress.com/2014/03/13/oh-abu-eesa-an-apology-letter-on-your-behalf/

(And thank God for women like this! Without their bravery, there would be no feminism, and no Islam).

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How To Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One…

How To Deal With The Loss Of A Loved One…” 14.6 MB

To download the MP3, click the link above.

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

How To Never Beat Yourself Up Again

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Taqwa Tuesday #5: How Live Without Regrets

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Taqwa Tuesday #4: How To Be Spiritually Present – All The Time

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

Taqwa Tuesday #3: Islam And Happiness – The Missing Link

 

In Episode #3 of Taqwa Tuesday, held on Tuesday 5th November 2013, you’ll discover…

  • why some people try really hard to be religious, and yet never seem to find happiness
  • why most people keep getting pulled back into chasing the material world (dunya), even after they set the intention to be more spiritual
  • the lasting source of happiness that worked for all the Prophets (upon whom be peace) and wise women & men throughout history
  • and much, much more…

Excuse the horrendous lighting… I’m working on it for the next session!

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

Taqwa Tuesday #2: Eliminate Procrastination Effortlessly And Permanently

 

In episode #2 of Taqwa Tuesday, you’ll discover…

  • the true source of procrastination & why you’re really putting off things that you know you should be doing
  • a bizarre personal insight a shaykh shared with me that caused me to turnaround 1 year’s worth of putting off studying, so I could learn 1 year’s worth of medicine in 5 weeks
  • why procrastination and heedlessness are considered the ‘root’ diseases of the heart and how to eliminate them forever
  • and much, much more…

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

Taqwa Tuesday #1: The Cure For All Psycho-Spiritual Diseases Of The Heart And Mind

 

Watch the video above, recorded from our live “Taqwa Tuesday” hangout on Tuesday 1st October 2013.

In the video, you’ll discover…

  • the #1 secret to completely transforming the quality of your life (after many years of searching, studying and struggling, I finally found that THIS is the key that connects modern psychology with ancient spirituality)
  • why most people fail in their pursuit of happiness – and the only area to focus on if you want to taste the sweetness and freedom of true inner-happiness
  • common examples of ‘spiritual diseases’ and ‘mental discomforts’ that may be affecting people you know, and its * real * cause & cure.
  • and much, much more…

For details on our next LIVE Taqwa Tuesday hangout, click here.

"Instant Ihsan: FREE Webinar Reveals 3 Simple Ways To Master Your Nafs For Instant Clarity, Inner Peace, Innate Wellbeing, Effortless Productivity & Endless Spiritual Energy..."

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